


Being Forgotten

by sootonthecarpet



Series: Russian Holmes fics that are all in one verse [1]
Category: Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson (TV Russia)
Genre: (not in a sexual way), Angst, Crying, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Marriage, Other, Teasing, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sootonthecarpet/pseuds/sootonthecarpet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Holmes is having an emotion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY I SWEAR THIS HAD A HAPPY ENDING IN MY HEAD.

"You thought she was pretty, didn't you."

"Everyone did!" Holmes insisted, voice a bit too high pitched.

"That's beside the point, and you know it," Watson responded with a rather teasing smile.

Holmes frowned. "If you're suggesting that I was under the influence of-- _the L-word_ \--you are entirely wrong."

Watson hmph-ed. "Your eyes keep turning sparkly when you look at that photograph for too long..."

"It is very dusty in here."

"Not that sort of sparkly."

Holmes huffed and fell into a silence that was the auditory equivalent of a pout.

"Besides, you're not one to tease me over such things. Aren't you the one who got engaged just a little while past?"

Watson shrugged. "That doesn't make my point any less valid. I still think you fancied Miss Adler."

"I did not ff--fancy-- that woman! The notion is absurd!" his voice stumbled over the word 'fancy' like he had made a vow not to say it. Then he glanced over at her picture and gave a dreamy, unhappy sigh.

Watson hid a giggle behind his hand. Holmes glared at him.

"What does it matter if I did, anyway?" Holmes demanded.

"Ah, so you admit it...!"

"Watson, you are making fun of me and I shall have none of it!" He turned his face away and his chin up.

Watson giggled more. "You definitely fancied her."

Holmes's face twitched, but he did not respond.

There was a lengthy pause.

"Why don't you want to admit it? I know it's not as though you were going to let it actually affect you. You just liked her..."

Holmes turned his face away further.

"You don't have to be heartless. And I already know you're not, anyway, so concealing it is useless."

Holmes swallowed. Watson waited silently, wondering if he would speak.

"I am not attempting to conceal it from _you_ ," he said finally. "I simply have an extreme distaste for such emotions. It is unfortunate enough that I feel friendly affection, feeling romance in any way would make things even worse."

Watson's brows contracted. "Why is it bad to have a friend?"

Holmes shrugged a little, head tipping down to look at the floor, but still turned to a profile.

"Haven't I been a help, and not a hindrance?"

Holmes remained silent.

"Please say how my friendship is detrimental," he said, growing concerned.

Holmes swallowed and spoke, turning back towards him but not meeting his eyes. "It gives me much greater potential to be damaged. Surely you are aware of that."

"But isn't friendship the best way to be happy?"

Holmes shrugged uncomfortably. "Yes," he admitted. "But it also pains me more than anything!" he insisted, as though trying to convince himself as well as Watson.

"Holmes," Watson said, pushing back hurt and confusion, "What has brought this on?"

"Nothing! I've always been like this, obviously, don't tell me you never noticed..." He was trembling a little.

"No, Holmes."

"I--I don't want to talk about it right now, then!"

Watson sighed and closed his eyes for several moments, leaning back and looking pained. "I shall wait."

Holmes looked positively tortured. It was all Watson could do to keep looking at him.

"It would be better if you left," Holmes managed, burying his face in the palms of his hands as his breath hitched uncomfortably.

"No," Watson said immediately.

Holmes laughed weakly.

"What? How is it amusing that I want to take care of my friend?"

Holmes shook his head from behind his hands.

"I would never want to leave you. I've had to be without you, don't you remember? It was hellish."

"Then imagine how it was for me," Holmes mumbled, "Who had the capacity to reunite with you and couldn't allow it."

"I am certain it was awful. But you were glad to be back with me. _Tell me what has brought this on._ "

"You'll be terribly angry."

"I am already angry."

There was a protracted silence during which Holmes tried to breathe in a normal manner. He got his lungs mostly under his control before he spoke to Watson again.

"You intend to leave me, whatever you said about it a minute ago," he mumbled, still with his hands over his face.

Watson blinked. "This is about my marriage?"

"Of course. I am entirely behind you pursuing happiness, but I am not fond of the fact that this involves you removing yourself from my company."

Watson half rose from his chair, then sank back. "A man is capable of sustaining more than one personal relationship at a time, you know..." His voice was weak, as though he was close to giving up on the conversation entirely.

"You will forget me eventually. It will be painful," Holmes said. "Following that, I shall be alone until I am dead."

Watson reached a hand over and took Holmes's wrist gently. "Just because I will not always be there does not mean I will always be gone," he insisted quietly. Holmes shook his head and tried to tug his wrist away, then let his arm go limp. Watson took Holmes's hand between his own, ignoring the dampness on the palm of it--he wished he could see to it that Sherlock Holmes would never cry.

Holmes convulsed with a weak sob and wiped at his eyes. "It will occur eventually."

"Only in the event of my death."

Holmes shook his head again. Watson could stand it no more, and rose from his chair. He leaned on Holmes's armrest and wrapped both arms around his friend.

Holmes leaned into his chest quietly. He felt mildly reassured--he felt that he had just gained himself at least another year or two of friendship. But he was also certain that there would inevitably come a time when the gaps between Watson's visits would stretch to an indefinite length, and although it would be well before either of their deaths, they would never speak again.

**Author's Note:**

> And then exactly what Holmes predicted happened.
> 
> Weeps.


End file.
